The Gundam Christmas Songs Collection
by Nightheart
Summary: These are all the christmas song parodies I wrote, disregard if you've already read them. ~Nightheart.
1. Default Chapter Title

Another Christmas song parody by Nightheart.  
  
As ever, I own nothing (not even the song) and i make no money off from this. But i sure wish I did, I'm broke!  
  
Sung to the tune, "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" or "Chester the Western Cowboy", if you come from where I'm from!  
  
Heero the Gundam Pilot  
Had a very shiny gun...  
And if you ever saw it  
You would turn around and run  
  
All of the other pilots  
Thought the guy was kinda strange  
They never let poor Heero  
join them on the shooting range  
  
Then one foggy Christmas Eve  
Quatre came to say  
"Heero with your gun so bright  
won't you shoot Dorothy tonight?"  
  
Then all the pilots loved him  
As they shouted out with glee  
Heero the Gundam Pilot  
Why are you kidnapping our Queen?!  
  
Finis  
  
Chibi Relena: *Is slung over Heero's shoulder a-la firemans hold* "Heero! Heero! You put me down! Put me down this instant! This is most undignified!"  
  
Chibi Heero: *grins devilishly* *smacks her on the derirere* "Quiet down wench!"  
  
Chibi Relena: "You're gonna pay for that! Why when I get free-"  
  
Chibi Heero: *winks at camera* "Have a nice Christmas folks." 


	2. Default Chapter Title

And yet another for your singing pleasure, coreographed by Nightheart.  
  
"Heero Yuy'y Coming to Kill"  
  
(sung to the tune "Santa Claus is Coming to Town")  
  
He's loading his gun, he's checking it twice  
The Perfect Soldier he's colder than ice  
Heero Yuy's coming to kill.  
  
He's seen her when she's sleeping, he knows if she's aware  
He promised her he'd shoot her dead  
And he always keeps his word.  
  
So, when Heero snuck in, she did not cry  
when he pointed his "gun" (at her) and now here's why  
Heero Yuy joined her in bed.  
  
Finis.  
  
Sounds like it's going to be a very merry Christmas for the two of them! Honestly people, I don't know where it came from and I cannot believe I had the temerity to post this...but there it is. Hope you liked it and be on the lookout for my next three song parodies, they're already written but they need just a tad bit more refinement before they are ready to be posted.   
  
Post Scriptum: You thought you could run you thought you could hide... you were wrong! It's *gasps and screams of mortal terror heard round the world* The Disclaimer! Run for your lives! Run for your lives damnit! All charactors and running jokes heard in this fic are the property of Bandai and Sotsu Agency and their original creators. I own nothing, not even a little bit. If you want to sue me, you're out of luck because I'm saying here, it isn't mine. 


	3. Default Chapter Title

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Some parts from a Gundam named Wing  
  
On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Two fencing swords  
  
On the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Three tank tops  
  
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Four Mobile Dolls  
  
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Five scientists  
  
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Six Zero Systems  
  
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Seven buster Rifles  
  
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Eight Perfect Soldiers  
  
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Nine Fortress Libra's  
  
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Ten Maguanac Corps  
  
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Eleven Psycho Blonde Chicks (dorothy)  
  
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me...  
Twelve wacky hairstyles  



	4. Default Chapter Title

Relena Got Run Over by a Gundam  
  
It was definitely Christmas time, the ground was covered in a thick blanket of snow, the yard were lit up with bright colorful strings of lights and other decorations, and the air was filled with the happy sound of laughter as party-goers and other revelers delighted in the occasion.  
"Trowaaa!" Quatre said in delight as rachid opened the door to reveal the uni-banged face of Trowa Barton and his elder sister Catherine Bloom.  
"Hello Quatre," he said quietly.   
"I'm so glad you could make it to my celebration," said Quatre. "Most of the others are here already. I think you're the last to arrive."  
"Well thank you for inviting us Quatre," said Catherine. "We're always delighthed to spend more time with our friends."  
Trowa and Catherine were divested of their outer wear by the eager hands of three of Quatre's maganac Corps men. They follwed Quatre down the entry foyer and into the living room where the bulk of the celebrations were being held.   
The room was lit up brightly and the holly boughs hanging on the walls only added to the over all christmassy fell of the room. The tree was eight feet tall and lit up bright as a bon fire. Trowa was mildly surprised to see everyone there.  
Heero was standing in the corner talking, well more accurately listening to WuFei and Sally Po as they told him of their latest excursion into the Peruvian jungles to check up on the rumors of a pocket of rebels. Hilde sat with Lady Une and Mariemaia Kushrenada as the little girl in the red velvet dress recounted and episode she had endured at school. Milliardo and Noin were talking with Dorthy about the inticasies of a good game of chess. And last but not least Duo and Relena were bent over a table chortling together about something they were writing.  
Trowa just barely caught the edge of their conversation as Relena said  
"Oh, come on! You know it and I know it...What's the most annoying thing that I can say?..."Heeerooooo!"  
Duo and Relena promptly burst into fits of giggles, for Relena was a wicked mimic of herself.   
"Quatre," said Trowa, taking in the two of them laughing uproariously. "I think you'd better go check the egg nog."  
"Hey! It fits! That's perfect!" Relena exclaimed suddenly.   
"Oi Ojousan," said Duo. "I think you're right, Milliardo really would kill him."   
Trowa drifted off into the room and was absorbed into a conversation with Wufei and Sally as Catherine joined Lady une and Dorothy. It was one hour later when Relena and Duo stood from whatever it was they had been working on together, both of them looking a trifle buzzed from the egg nog.  
Relena grinned and sat down at the piano. Duo sat down on the bench next to her, both of them were grinning form ear to ear as though participating in some marvelous joke only they knew about.  
"Attention everyone," said Relena. Funny, she still sounded sober. "I have a song that I'd like you to hear to commemorate this holiday season. Remember... it's all in good fun."  
"Ready?" asked Duo.  
"Whenever you are," she replied agreeably.  
"Hit it."  
Relena began playing the piano, Trowa recognized the opening tune as belonging to that of a very old humorous song called "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."   
Grinning fit to slit his face in half Duo gave a quick glance at Heero before starting to sing.  
By the end of the first line there were surprised guffaws, quickly surpressed. But they noticed that Relena herself was laughing so they allowed themselves to laugh freely. By the end of the chorus, they were all laughing so hard they could barely stand.   
The song went something like this:  
  
Relena got run over by a gundam,  
Coming home from Quatre's Cristmas Eve.  
You may say there's no such thing as Heero,  
But as for me and Milliardo we believe.  
  
She'd been yelling too much (relena) "Heeerooo!"  
And the poor boy finally snapped.  
Soon he had her in his gun-sights,  
And with an Omae Wo Korosu she was trapped.  
  
Chorus:   
Relena got run over by a gundam  
Coming home from Quatre's Cristmas Eve.  
You may say there's no such thing as Heero,  
But as for me and Milliardo we believe.  
  
When we found her Christmas morning,  
At the scene of the attack...  
There were beam marks on her forehead,  
And a giant metal footprint on her back.  
  
(Relena and Duo, grin)  
  
Now we're all real proud of Milliardo,  
He's been taking it so well.  
But if he ever catches Heero,  
(Relena and Duo together)  
He's gonna blow the Gundam pilot straight to hell!  
  
At this point the two of them burst out laughing, having held it in to finish the song. When they finally conquer their giggles, Relena says  
"Now, I didn't write this song to make fun of anyone...although I must admit it's a rather nice bonus." She grinned. "No, the purpose of this song was demonstrate to everyone the value of humor. If nothing else, one must be able to laugh at ones self. Without that ability the world can become a very dark and depressing place. And if you ask me it's already dark and miserable enough without our help. So if I can laugh at myself and all of my foibles, and I admit there are plenty of them, surely everyone can learn to appreciate the purely human sense of humor and let it act as a guide to handling the various situations the universe puts us into."  
"Ya gotta admit, this world's a pretty strange place," added Duo. "If I couldn't find a way ta lighten it up, I'd prob'ly go nuts. No one said it'd be easy, but I think the ability to share a laugh every now and then makes it all worth it. So there ya go, my sentimental drivel for the year is done with."  
"Out of the mouths of fools and babes," muttered Wufei. "The sun will surely rise in the west tomorrow...Duo Maxwell has actually made a good point!"  
Sally, standing nearby, chuckled and said aloud  
"Let's hear it again!"  
"Uh-oh," Relena muttered to Duo. "I think I've created a monster."  
She motioned to Quatre.  
"Hey Quatre, take over for me please."  
"Of course," he said and took her place at the bench.   
Relena for her part, followed Heero out onto the balcony, which had been swept clear of snow. Her breath made little clouds of vapor as she breathed out.  
"So Heero," she said conversationally, but her eyes were sparkling with mischief. "What did you think of my little song?"  
"Omae Wo Korosu," he said in his usual monotone. Then he have his little smirk of a smile. Relena chuckled (a little releived that he hadn't taken it personally).  
"Why are you doing this?" he asked suddenly. "Why go to the trouble to parody something that is bound to be popular and remembered for a long time to come? They'll never let you live it down."  
"Well," she said shrugging slightly. "Did it make you laugh?"  
"...It did," he allowed, after a pause.  
"Then my job here is done."  
THE END  
  
  
Authors Note:   
Well that really about said it all, didn't it? This story was originally meant to be a stand alone, just the song, but when your muse speaks...  
Well, you know how it is. Anyways, I would like to dedicate this, my first posted fic, to Lilith-chan (she's the one who writes the story about the Heero Yuy and the Holy Gundam, the Monty Python parody).   
Oh, and this is only the beginning, I have many more song parodies and Christmas carol parodies on the way. I also have lots more fanfics waiting in the wings for me to type out. Be on the look out for them.  
~Nightheart.  
  
And as always, I own nothing. All the characters used in this fic belong to other people (you know who you are, unfortunately I don't).  



	5. Default Chapter Title

Jingle Wing: sung to the tune "Jingle Bells."  
  
Chibi Relena: I can not believe I'm doing this!  
  
Author and Fans: *give puppy dog eyes*  
  
Chibi Relena:Oh alright! *clears throat*...  
  
Author: Well?  
  
Chibi Relena: *begins singing*  
  
Flying deep in space, with a beat up Zero One,  
We find Commander Treize, kissing Lady Une.  
Bells on boosters ring, as they begin the fight,  
And now it's up to little me to make them see the light.  
  
Chorus:  
Oh, Gundam Wing, Gundam Wing  
Heero's got a gun,   
But it's still a mystery just where he draws it from.  
Gundam Wing, Gundam Wing   
Duo's braid is long,  
I have no life to speak of and that's why I wrote this song!  
  
WuFei is ranting on, his shirt's as white as snow,  
But one girl will put up with him she's Major Sally Po.  
With this unlikely pair, her sanity's in doubt,  
Forget about his painful hair, he's foaming at the mouth!  
  
Chorus:  
  
Oh, Gundam Wing, Gundam Wing  
Trowa plays a clown,  
But when he climbs in Heavyarms no one can bring him down.  
Gundam wing, Gundam Wing  
Quatre is so kind  
But Zero System trips him out and makes him lose his mind.  
  
Dorothy is a pain, she says she likes to fight,  
When Quatre contradicted her she stabbed him in the side.  
She follows me around, say's she thinks I'm great,  
But if it were left up to me she would be promptly spaced!  
  
Chorus:  
  
Oh, Gundam Wing, Gundam Wing  
Hilde betrayed OZ,  
she fought to save her Duo's life and battled for the cause.  
Gundam Wing, Gundam Wing  
Noin's in love with Zechs,  
And while that's not exactly all, she's in it for the sex.  
  
  
*******************************  
  
A.N.:  
  
I don't own Gundam Wing and i don't claim to. They belong to someone else.   
  
Also, many thanks to those who have reviewed all of my fics, you people are beautiful...I mean that. *gets teary eyed*  
  
Chibi Relena: Ooookay, that's enough eggnog for you.  
  
Chibi Nightheart: I've always wondered...what precisely is a "nog"?  
  
Chibi Relena: You know, I have no idea. Oh, and by the way, you did finish that trilogy, right? The shakespeare one?  
  
Chibi Nightheart: It was supposed to be a stand alone peice, now there's a third part out. My muse won't leave me alone on that one. She had me wake up early on a Sunday with this fic in my head and I could not get back to sleep! Stupid muse.  
  
Muse: hey, you'd better be nice or I'll disappear and you will have to find something else to do with your pathetic existence.  
  
Chibi Nightheart: *cowers* I'll be good! I'll be good!  
  
Muse: *grins* It's called "Choices, Consequences and Responsibility" and there are two of them out now.  
  
Chibi Nightheart: Hey! I had to re-upload it, my computer was giving me problems! Oh, and by the way Muse...That's the last one! After that, no more!  
  
Muse: *smiles* We'll see.  
  
Chibi Nightheart: I mean it.  
  
Muse: *smile grows wider* Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. 


End file.
